Sex: what do people with Aspergers need to know?

Rudy Simone

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Dr. Nick Dubin, author of two books on Asperger syndrome, self-advocate and popular public speaker, has been arrested for possession of photos depicting boys ten to 14 years old in a sexually explicit manner. While I am certainly not qualified nor inclined to try Dr. Dubin on these pages, the event has kindled conversations in the autism community about the need for proper sex education for those of us on the autism spectrum.

Asperger syndrome is by its nature an isolating condition. I have spoken on this in my books and in this blog. Because of social isolation, we may not have the frequent, recurring contact with potential partners that neurotypicals might enjoy. We are not even adept at flirting, the most basic step in the romance dance. I have spent much of my adult life single. While I have often chosen partners out of convenience, desperation and extreme loneliness, I have now finally achieved a healthy relationship with someone who is both good for me and as far as I can tell, compatible. But it was not easy getting here. My teenage years were fraught with sexual mistakes including statutory rape and other dating fiascos...if you could call it dating. From what I know of my peers, dating is not something we with Aspergers like to do. We tend to meet and mate too quickly or not at all. We want to have good relationships, we just don't know how to go about getting one.